10)  We've got more connections than the phone company

  9)  We put the "suc" in "success"

  8)  You'll learn to pronounce Al's last name

  7)  We pay attention to detoils

  6)  Entertainment available in both smooth and crunchy

  5)  We use 100% recycled material

  4)  No bitter aftertaste

  3)  Free beer nuts

  2)  We want you to like us

And, finally, the #1 reason to use Total Entertainment Network

  1)  Exemplary Service And Talent